The common belief has it that sexual act is the obvious consequence of love and there even goes a word for it. It is "Consummation". It says, a romantic relationship, an amorous affair, is not accomplished and fulfilled until you take it to bed.
The sexual act for men is deeply violent in nature. And a man needs to shed his love precisely the moment he sheds his clothes to preceed for the sexual intercourse. Women may think that here is guy who is now going to work hard over me only to take me to my wonderful orgasm and therefore he is adorable. Men won't mind if they think so. Only this is not true and they know it deep in their heart.
Nobody makes love to make other happy and those who do it make no one happy.
Lovemaking is fundamentally "selfish" and it is only incidental that two people derive pleasure out of it. This is not its primary objective. The primary objective of sex (its not reproduction, for sure) is to derive pleasure for me, myself, and if the other happens to fall out of sync, well bad luck to the poor other. This gives way to many conflicts, as it inevitably does.
JM Coetzee has likened the male sexuality to the act of "Usurpation" in his novel "Disgrace". Coetzee hits the nail on the head. This is what it is : "Usurpation", a wrongful or illegal encroachment, infringement, or seizure. And the consent of the girl can't make it any less immoral. Sexual impulse in men is fundamentally a lust to win, to conquer, to colonize. A man loves it when his girl plead for mercy underneath him. This is his moment of glory. Forget orgasm, orgasm means nothing for men. The complete victory over a living human being, who was otherwise so distant, so aloof, so elusive, so untouchable uptil now, this is what they are looking for all the time. This is what drives them.
Frankly, if a man is deeply in love, the first thing he is going to do is to refuse to make love to his girl. He can't exploit and colonize a person he loves, can he? He can't conquer her, he would rather go for submission. And there is only one way a man can achive it in front of a woman. That is by going back to womb. A man becomes a baby in love. And if the man stays very much a man, take my word, he ain't not in love and he is pretending and lying to you. And well, men do it very well. If they don't, they will starve to death.
The same can't be said about women, though. She would rather want a man in bed instead of a baby. Precisely for the same reason that if the definition of love is submission then giving herself up to her man is the perfect gesture of love for the women. They will offer themselve in love. But if their men take them, you can't say the same thing about them.
It is just like saying, I love you so much that I can give even my life for you. What should be the reaction of other in this premise? Not, that ok let me take your life, but why do you say so, I wish even my years are added to your life. That would complete the circle of love. In sex, it breaks right there. Woman offer herself and man, gleefully and lustfully, licking his lips, take her. This is the end of love.
Love ends where the lust begins and vice versa. No wonder, post sexual encounter, women are basking in orgasmic glory and men are sinking deep in guilt. They know the wrongdoing deep in their heart. They know what the Biblical metaphor of "Fall of Man" stands for.
Of all the conflicts of the world, this is the greatest : Men and women's visions of love and lust. And this is not going to end anytime soon, which is the other way of saying, this is going to stay here forever. Tough luck, folks!